Cleanse Journal Day 1

Yogic principle for the day: the external discipline of NON-VIOLENCE
Non-Violence (Skt.: Ahimsa)
For one who is established in non-violence, all enmity ceases in his presence.
To nurture the spirit of valuing and protecting life in all of its forms. To cultivate an attitude of physical, verbal and mental gentleness towards those around you, especially when it requires effort. To never return harm with harm. To extend this attitude towards the great and the small in equal measure.

What does this principle mean to me?
Being a warrior pitta, means I’ve had my share of battles, won and lost. In the early wars, I felt deprived, victimized, and even abused by specific people, and myself. Many battles felt justified and righteous. Over time I adapted and became an advanced warrior. With a lot of effort, my survival skills evolved exponentially. Most of my recent battles have been psychological and complex. I see a sharp edge in me that now can soften. Certain behaviours have outgrown their usefulness. I’ll name a few: Criticisms. Take-charge attitude that intimidates some. Task orientation and driven focus. Decisions based on logic or what I think I should do. Neglecting what is in fact most valuable to me. Underestimating the contribution of others. Not valuing the needs of others enough. Driving others as hard as I drive myself. I hope I am overstating these traits. It would be characteristic of some Pittas.

Apparently, I have internalized some now problematic judgements and in so doing perhaps I am most violent to myself, in self-criticism. I hope that is some consolation to those I may have offended along the way. For my world to change, I have to change. I want to change and I enjoy change. Everything is connected. As above, so below. It seems I have to learn to tune my energies to avert war, both within and outside of myself. I will explore the possibility that it is unnecessary to fight, to struggle. Maybe there’s a better way. Perhaps there is a creative twist to discover. Also, it appeals to me that the principle of the day expressed above is highly democratic. Be established in ahimsa to all in equal measure: people, animals, nature, myself.

How do I honour it on a daily basis? What could I improve?
I now officially retire from warring. Truly, I would like to experience and explore the opposite of ahimsa: kindness, gentleness, non-violent psychological and ecological solutions. More often, I could take personal note and acknowledge contributions of others. Ensure others are not dissatisfied or feeling pushed. Ask others about their feelings. Ensure I respect everyone’s role. Ask myself what is truly important in the long term and whether my decision promotes that or is simply a logical choice. Conduct “intensity” checks. Stop and appreciate the beauty of the earth and life more.

Observations regarding the practice of my assignments:
Day 1 so far is confusing. I am working through an altered schedule and altered menu of food items and drinks. I have had to read the booklet on Jala Neti. So far I am enjoying the process. Sore back of the throat most of the second half of the day.

Daily food/elimination comments:
I was told some of the items would be distasteful, but I like it all. I am fascinated by the novelty.

Sleep record:
I returned home from my Cleanse Prep in Toronto Friday night exhausted and slept long and deeply. I was equally exhausted Saturday night and had a long, satisfying rest.

Additional thoughts or feelings:
I would like to get over my confusion and find my rhythm in this practice.